Here’s to you, Moms

It’s after 10pm and I’m exhausted. Yet, I still spent the last 2 hours painting a paint by number canvas because a.) that’s my level of artistic skill, and b.) I needed time to myself. And now, with random 10pm blogging inspiration, I’m writing this post.

What inspired me to blog at 10pm, you may ask? Well precisely the fact that I’m exhausted but still spent the time doing something I love. My fellow moms will understand this. There are definitely times when you’re so tired you just crash with a list of things in your head that need to be done, but there are also times where your exhaustion becomes something you ignore simply to have some peace.

I have had the pleasure (and I do mean that sincerely) of having my almost-three-year-old at home with me for most of the week and will for next week as well, while working from home. After 10 months of dealing with COVID, it finally hit our daycare and they’ve shut down temporarily. I’ve had her home here and there for a few days if she was sick, or if they were closed for holidays, etc., but never this long at once. I am so grateful to have been able to continue her daycare during all of this. I was not made for the super mom façade and some of y’all make this shit look easy. It’s not. And I only have one kid! My sweet girl just doesn’t understand why momma can’t go play in her room, or color with her, or “ice skate” with her. And that breaks my heart. Juggling work, pets who don’t get along, and a child while in the back of my head coordinating when I’m going to do laundry and start dinner and take down Christmas decorations and 1,000 other things is exhausting. Utterly exhausting.

All of this definitely threw a wrench in every single plan for the next few weeks and of course you want to be angry at the person who put all these families in this situation, but I’m trying to see the good in it. I absolutely want whomever is affected to get well soon, first of all. But I’m so grateful for the extra time with my daughter and I’m trying to focus on that. She is at the best age yet and I love watching her learn and grow. I’m also finding other good things to focus on, no matter how minute they may be. One example: I get to sleep a little longer. I don’t have to drop her off at daycare and be back in time for work, so I don’t need as much time in the morning. Which also means no alarms – my child will be up by 7am, so if I don’t wake up on my own, she’s sure to help. I also am rocking the “mullet” a bit more often. I used to make myself semi-presentable (aka, leggings) since I did leave the house and was seen in public, even if only for a few minutes. But this week I have totally been rocking some pj bottoms a bit more often. Trying to keep it semi-presentable on top just in case I have an impromptu video call. Today was not a semi-presentable day, though, and of course I had multiple impromptu calls. Casual Friday can still be a thing while working from home, right? *shrugs*

So despite my exhaustion, I took that time for myself because it’s going to make me a better mom tomorrow. It’s so important to still take care of yourself when you’re taking care of others. Burnout is real in work and home life, and moms (or dads), you need to stop feeling guilty for leaving whatever it is on your to-do list and take the time you need to make you the parent you want or need to be (something I’m working on). If you don’t have a hobby or something that takes your mind off the crazy and brings you back to your center, find one. I enjoy baths, reading, binge watching TV, crocheting, and once in a while playing guitar, too. Just find something you love and do it. You don’t have to be great at it. And accept help when offered (something else I’m working on). My husband helps so much when he gets home from work. In small ways he might not even really understand. I got to fold laundry in peace today because he was keeping her entertained in the other room. Y’all, a toddler helping to fold the laundry is not helpful. Most of the time I end up saying multiple times, “Oh, how nice. You “folded” the thing I had just actually folded. Good job, honey!”

It’s all just a chapter, though, in the past crazy year and in life, so to dwell on any of the negative just doesn’t help my health physically, mentally, or emotionally. I’m going to be tired and probably grumpy when I’m woken up at 7am, but we ended the day throwing a ball and just laughing as a family and that is what I’m going to remember in a month or 2 when I look back on these few weeks.

So, here’s to all the other moms who do this on a daily basis. I raise my glass of bourbon (metaphorically – it is 11pm now) to you. We got this.