Rest is not a reward

Rest – verb; cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. Oxford English Dictionary

Relax – verb; rest or engage in an enjoyable activity so as to become less tired or anxious. Oxford English Dictionary

Those actions are not supposed to be rare. They’re not supposed to be these long sought after things viewed as a reward for your hard work. They are as important as food and water. And they’re different than sleep. Sleep is for your body. Rest and relaxing is for your mind, which, in turn, affects your body.

I didn’t know work-life balance existed prior to the pandemic. Being sent home, I no longer had to pack a lunch or commute (short as it was), and I was able to use my previously dreaded lunch hour (because, seriously, who needs an hour to eat?) as productive time around the house.

The result? Cleaner house, more time with my family, more time to cook – a passion of mine that had been put on the back burner – and generally less stress. I had extra time I wasn’t used to.

Eventually, with the seemingly extra time in my day, I found myself needing to be occupied with something, doing something productive. When I wasn’t working, I was cleaning or vacuuming, even if I had cleaned or vacuumed just two days before. I have pets so there was something to clean up, but it wasn’t necessary to clean again so soon. I felt like I never got everything done. I was over tired, irritable, and stressed. I no longer had my work-life balance.

Y’all. I ended up creating my own stress (and a tinge of OCD, too). I pride myself in being a multi-tasker. Being productive feels good. The feeling you accomplished something. And that’s ok; I think it’s in our nature. But there is a balance and I had tipped the scale too far. My extra time wasn’t supposed to help me burn myself out. It was supposed to help me prevent burnout.

I realized this a few months ago and was actively trying to rest and relax more. But it took this vacation I’m on for me to realize it hasn’t been enough. I have still viewed rest and relaxation as my reward. I’d bust my ass to get everything on my mental to-do list done so that I could relax. And guess what? I never felt rested. I’d even push myself physically to the point of pain because I set my own goal in my own head and couldn’t rest until I had achieved it.

If this sounds at all familiar to you, sit. down. Stop worrying about the work. House work or job, it will be there once you’ve rested and you’ll probably be more effective then anyway. It will take conscious effort to change your mindset. But try. Sit down. It doesn’t matter if you are a parent or not. It doesn’t matter if you have a full time job or not. Rest is not a reward.